don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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