dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
