his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i came on her dog
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
