But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Randomize
