everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
