Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
