i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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