and you said cock pushups were impossible
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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