why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
