why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize