Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
