Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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