standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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