what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
