1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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