I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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