i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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