oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
