She's JV to your varsity
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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