i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
