Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
