The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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