I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
