Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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