No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
