doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
