listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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