Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
