I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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