How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
