Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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