Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
