Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
This is my gift to your gina
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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