I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
whose parrot is this?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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