My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
porn star boner night. come get it.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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