the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
