:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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