I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
