okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
