The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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