Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
