I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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