dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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