took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
