he puts the penis in happiness.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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