WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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