There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
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