youre lurking in front of me
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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