worst night to have a conscience
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
