hell yes lets make some ravioli
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize