he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
