i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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