Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
