wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
