I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
