During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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