But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
