My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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