Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
