what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
