Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
