Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize